It's a wonderful world out there!

Witty, smart, charming, affectionate, sad, all these come easy on social media. Try that in real life and it is a different ball game altogether. I thought about this as I asked (on Facebook) someone I know to be brave as he had just lost a young son. How easily I said it. Not that I did not mean it. I meant it from the bottom of my heart. And yet, Facebook had made it easy for me to say it, somehow. That's how it is on social media. Log in: FB reminds you it is a friend's birthday. You wish her. Someone else has announced it's her anniversary. You wish her as well. And then someone is grieving. You say sorry. Someone's unwell. You wish them a s
peedy recovery. Someone's posted holiday pictures. You like them. Someone's cooked a fantastic meal. You like the pictures. Someone's being extremely witty. Like the post. You mean well, and do all this. You feel you have made someone's day, effortlessly. It is really easy to pull all this off on social media.

Try articulating the same in real life, over face to face conversations, and see the difference. It is so difficult; and therefore FB comes as both a boon and a bane for most of us. Especially for some of us who are introverted and find it so painfully difficult to say what's on our minds. In a physical world, I'd struggle to pick up the phone and tell someone I'm sorry for their loss, but on Facebook I could articulate my thoughts easily. In that sense, social media is a great leveller. We can all come off looking like great people, feeling and sharing and empathizing with everyone. In real life, all our flaws come to the fore so painfully.

I'm really awkward when it comes to small talk. I can't chat up a neighbour or my maid effortlessly. I think hard about what exactly to say to them. I don't so easily attend social get-togethers or parties; it has to be a close family member or a really good friend to take me there. Last year, when I heard that my neighbour's mother had passed away, I really had to gather a lot of willpower to get up, ring the doorbell of their house and offer my condolences. It is not as if I don't care, it is just so difficult to articulate my thoughts, and then, there is the fear of the whole thing not coming off well. A residents' association meeting can be a challenge for me; I really want to be of use and help around, but to make small talk and to be able to have a half-decent conversation with most of them would be a struggle. So, in real life our flaws are horribly exposed. Your neighbour might think of you as someone who doesn't give a damn (while in fact you do!) and your maid might think you are snooty. Your local vegetable vendor might think you are always frowning and your cousin or aunt may feel you haven't the decency to pick up the phone and wish them a happy new year! Fact of the matter is that in real life you need to put in a lot of hard work into every relationship to make it work. You have to try to figure out a way to say something to people around you to show that you care. You may really care, but sometimes, showing is equally important. In real life, if you don't work at something, you are losing the game.

Not so on Facebook or Twitter. I'm winning all the time. I know exactly what to say to whom; I can articulate my thoughts effortlessly. I express my points of view on a range of issues, from cricket to politics and cinema. You wouldn't be able to guess I struggle with small talk because see, I chat every second person up so easily there. I share smart status updates, I like other people's posts, I appreciate someone's efforts, I express my sadness over something. It is always a win-win. There's no hard work involved. I am impressed with myself, what an amazing person I am! From one right thing to do to another right thing to do. All that I can never be in real life I can be on social media. It brings out the best in me, and also the lazy in me. Before FB, I'd have picked up the phone and wished a friend a happy birthday. Now, I said it on Whatsapp. He can't say I haven't wished him, I don't have the guilt of not wishing him. What's more, I come off looking good. Real life can make you look awkward, lazy, reserved. Not FB. We are all one homogenized lot. Patting each other's backs and pecking each other's cheeks and feeling for each other. We are all in it together, aren't we?