Skip to main content

December thoughts

Happiness. Often used as a substitute for success. Both highly intangible words. Both can't be contained in a single definition. And yet, we are conditioned all our lives to believe that it is something we 'achieve' if we do certain things. As kids, we make our parents happy and ourselves happy if we do things that are supposed to be 'right'. So, we complete our engineering or medical degrees (what else can poor South Indian children dream of? shudder shudder if they think of something like the arts, especially boys!) and we will be happy? We go off to the US, do our MSes, and think we and our parents and our families have been wrapped in one big happy bubble! Then we marry. If that partner fits the standards set by our closest set of relatives and friends, we are doubly lucky. Soon enough, we start a family. And the cycle continues. A car, an apartment, then two, our quest for material symbols of success is one long relentless one. We parade our achievements on social media so the whole world knows we have found happiness and success. There's no one to match us. See our shining lives, our picture-perfect families, our fabulous vacations, our office parties, aren't we spectacular?

Not once are we taught to live in the present. Not once are we told that happiness need not necessarily be found through stereotypical institutions of marriage and family. We are single, so we can't find happiness till we find a partner. We are child-free, so happiness won't come anywhere near us. We don't make enough money to have that big car, so we aren't happy. Like a video game where we need to complete level after level, make all the right moves, complete all the missions. And then, happiness? Yeah, we score all those points, but then the game's over as well!

Why wait for something to happen to us so we can be happy? Why wait? Why can't we learn? To appreciate poetry, art, music. To listen. To empathise. To introspect. To care for our inner lives as much as our outer lives. To find our comfortable spaces. To not compare ourselves with anyone else. To be comfortable with exactly who we are. To be humble. And above all else, to find peace. Happiness is overrated.


Labels:

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 7, 2019 at 8:41 AM

    Generally I don't read article on blogs,
    however I wish to say that this write-up very compelled me to try
    and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me.
    Thanks, very great post.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remember Sadanand Vishwanath?

I write this as I watch the post-lunch session of the first Ashes Test 2017 at the Gabba. Watching it on Sony Six with the Channel 9 line-up of commentators (plenty of flak for that line-up, of course), my mind goes back to the Benson & Hedges series of 1985-86. I was too young to remember much, but certainly remember the Audi car that Ravi Shastri won. That was also the first time that DD telecast the Channel 9 feed -- I know now not then. I only remember the famous animated duck walk past the screen as the batsmen walked back to the pavilion. That series saw the emergence of a young, dashing wicket-keeper who kept the chatter going behind the stumps -- Sadanand Vishwanath. A Google News search told me what's up with him now. Here's a link: http://www.thehindu.com/sport/cricket/vishwanath-seeks-to-live-cricket-again/article20628906.ece
Post a Comment
Read more

Walking down Fleet Street

One of London's most iconic streets, if you are a literature lover or a journalist or anyone who has anything to do with words. That's Fleet Street for you. The St Bride's Church, designed by Christopher Wren, located on this street has a lot of history associated with it. It is called the Jounalists' Church because of its location. Some of London's oldest papers were born on this street. When we walked into St Bride's, it was all quiet. We were the only visitors and the place was being renovated. Yet there was a free exhibition on. We enjoyed looking at old newspaper extracts, the history of the Church, clippings of how the Church was bombed during the WW II, how it was destroyed in the Great Fire and rebuilt etc. It was next door to this Church that the first printing press in London started to function as well. Our second stop on Fleet Street was the pub that came with many recommendations in books such as the Lonely Planet. The debate continues on whether...
Post a Comment
Read more

Let me know if you need help or something like that!

I have spent time as an attendant to a family member on more than a couple of occasions, for at least a fortnight or more each time, and am just recording my thoughts, in a random fashion. When you are a caregiver, you often get offers like, "if you want help let us know". But how often does a caregiver remember your offer, especially when he or she is caught up with taking care of the patient? How does the caregiver know what kind of help you are willing to offer or whether you are reliable? The burden of providing you with opportunities to help can be too much for the caregiver, especially sitting in an ICU waiting room or a ward with a patient in pain. If you really want to help, show up, find out how you can ease the burden off the caregiver in little ways. And act. Often, you could be offering help just to satisfy your conscience or as a nicety. You move on, once the caregiver says, "Thanks. Will let you know." The caregiver doesn't know if you real...
Post a Comment
Read more